Legacy


It’s been 67 years since my paternal grandparents posed for this wedding photo. When I sit for mine, I won’t be as young as they were and I doubt I’ll be serving in the military. But I hope I’ll express their energy and integrity — I hope to this day I have, and will continue to do so, regardless of nuptials. What an honor that would be, and what a blessing to have benefited from my grandparents’ (and parents’) examples.

My father, their proud son, wrote the following biography for the Illinois Holocaust Museum and Education Center in Skokie (the city in which all four of my grandparents resided for decades, and my parents went to high school):

Eleanor Harris of Chicago, IL, enlisted in the Marines with her best friend, Mary Arkes, in 1943, when they were both 19 years old. Eleanor left Roosevelt College in Chicago and was sent to Washington, DC, as a Private 1st Class, where she worked in a clerical capacity believed to be in the Department of Maps. Justin Felt enlisted in the Navy in 1942, even though it represented a hardship since he was the sole support of his mother. He was first sent to the University of Minnesota for special courses based upon his initial entrance exam scores. Upon completion, he was assigned, as an Electrician’s Mate 3rd Class, to a secret project in Virginia involving torpedo guidance systems. Eleanor and Justin met in Chicago while both were on leave, the result of a blind-date “fix-up” from a mutual friend. They continued to correspond by mail and met when they could since both were stationed on the East Coast. They married in July 1945, while both were still in the service, just before both were returned to civilian status. Eleanor became an elementary school teacher and Justin returned to his position in the composing room of the Chicago Sun (later to become the Sun-Times). They were married for 45 years until their passing 5 months apart in 1990. They are survived by 2 sons, Richard and Robert, 3 grandchildren, and 2 great-grandchildren to date.

I remember the day my grandpa died. It was the first time I’d seen my father cry. This is what Dad emailed today to my uncle, brother, sister, and me:

Today was the 22nd anniversary of my father’s (Yosef ben Moshe) passing. I chanted the haftorah and associated prayers in his memory at shabbos services today, and also told a story about him to the congregation. I’m not sure if you ever heard it, but Mom had not, so here it is.

It goes back to the 50’s when dad worked for the Chicago Sun (later to merge with the Daily Times to become the Sun-Times) in the composing room. Television was in its youth then (we got our first, a Motorola floor-cabinet model in 1951), and dad and his printer-friend Jack Vrtjack decided that there could be a bright future in radio/TV repair. They were both very handy and soon became quite proficient (self-taught) in electronic repair. They dreamed of their own business, free from the shackles of corporate employment. But they decided on a trial-run, before they quit their day jobs.

One day, dad got a call from a woman whose set did not work. She turned the ON knob but to no avail. Dad came home from work and drove right to her house in Chicago. She showed him the problem, and he moved to the back of the set while she watched him work. There was high-voltage danger associated with the picture tube, and so the set had to be unplugged from the wall even to remove the back panel. Dad traced the cord to the wall and saw that the plug was already ajar. Before doing anything with the back panel, he pushed the plug all the way into the outlet and retried the set. It worked. That had been the problem.

He put his tools away and informed the lady that the service-call charge was whatever. She refused to pay. She said that apparently there had actually been nothing wrong with the set, and he had only spent 2 minutes or so without having had to “fix” anything. He argued with her for awhile about his travel time, gasoline, etc, but upon realizing just the sort of mind that he was dealing with, he let it go and left without having been paid. Plans for a business based upon dealing with the public were scrapped, and Dad (and Jack) remained at the newspaper, Dad for 45 years.

I learned from Dad via this episode that there are times to dig-in one’s heels, stand firm, and fight. And there are other times when, after appropriate consideration of the issues and the relative merit of a hard line, it is better to disengage and live to fight another day for something really important. This lesson served me well during my years dealing with the public professionally, and in my private life in general as well.

How can I ever express my gratitude for such a rich inheritance?


  • The 90th birthday of Ruth Feldman Marcus + Hanukkah celebrations
  • Permeability

    A few ex-pats of the theater have (re)entered my life of late. So have some notoriously hard to shake habits.  The former hasn’t provoked the latter, but it has inspired a theatrical metaphor (and a public timestep or four).

    I’m struggling with boundaries, striving (and lately, failing) to discern the limits between transparency and oversharing, relating and overidentifying, performing my front region role vs. overexposing my backstage sweating (Goffman, 1959). To cast it in terms of the theater, I don’t know how to light my scrim.

    A scrim is a piece of material that boasts the following phenomenal qualities:

    A scrim will appear entirely opaque if everything behind it is unlit and the scrim itself is grazed by light from the sides or from above.

    A scrim will appear transparent if a scene behind it is lit, but there is no light on the scrim.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrim_(material)

    How much do I show? When? To whom? And for whose benefit? Is it selfish to let it all hang out, an irresponsible liberation of self from the burden of exercising judgment? Is it courageous to tell the whole truth, a risk to place faith in both parties involved? Is it generous to surrender the keys to the castle, a magnanimous invitation for the other to feel at ease?

    And what are the consequences of this permeability? How, if at all, does this fickle wall leave me ill protected? Sometimes, you can see right through a scrim, even when a spotlight’s shone on its face. Sometimes, pulling a solid curtain at just the right time is better for all parties involved — respects both privacy and surprise.

    We talked about Les Miserables (Les Mis) last night. I saw the show in 5th grade at the Chicago Auditorium Theater and it changed my life. Truly. We also performed a concert version at Glenbrook South High School and I was cast as one of the narrators… I was so proud. If memory serves, that 1989 production of Les Mis had a scrim. I think that all of the villagers were frozen behind it at the top of the show, during the initial scene where Jean Valjean is graciously abetted by the priest from whom he stole…

    Like me, Jean Valjean also grappled with a moral conundrum. While his problem was more cut-and-dry (steal bread vs. let his family starve), he still paid for his “crime.” Right and wrong isn’t always black and white (is it ever even mostly black and white?); it’s shades of gray. How does his wrong stack up relative to his right? How does mine? And how, like Valjean, will I learn from my transgression and try, in the future, to do right as much as possible? Valjean became a mayor, philanthropist, and adoptive parent, finally dragging Marius through the sewers of Paris to please the lovely Cosette (sorry, Eponine, you’re on your own).

    What will be my penance? My legacy? And how will I maximize the potential of porousness? Theoretically, one of its greatest assets is its capacity to let go. Yet I’m remarkably bad at that, at least as far as personal exculpation is concerned. Let myself off the hook? Not if I can get in two solid days of intestine-knotting first!

    So how do I stop singing the same old song, tapping the same old step? How do I jumpstart my rhythm, become the triple-threat I’ve always dreamed of? And to what extent do I need to consciously critique vs. peacefully accept vs. obliviously overlook?

    I need better walls and better releases. I need to emulate the character of Jean Valjean, avoid the role of Jean Dujardin, and maybe, like Ginger Rogers, do it backwards and in heels…

    P.S. This photo is thematically rather than chronologically appropriate. It was taken by my dear friend Mark in South Africa, 2007.

    Brainstorm

    It was sunny in Los Angeles, 12 noon, and I’d just eaten a wedge of cheese. But still. I was cold. I was tired. And I was hungry.

    While the prospect of going home and taking a nap enticed me, especially after I got lost looking for Ollin Cafe, then arrived only to find that it’d been transformed into a Mexican bakery, I pushed on. I found another coffeeshop (run by a Ghanian man whose grant for a non-profit African culture youth program I offered to edit) and read about pedagogy. When Don had to close his shop early, I again stifled the impulse to close shop myself and instead relocated to Starbucks.

    There, at a crusty table co-occupied by antisocial, screen-glued men, inspiration began to flow… I don’t know that this will actually BECOME my dissertation. Most likely, the final product will barely resemble this outline. Nonetheless, I think I’m onto something here. And boy, do I feel proud…

    NOTE: The formatting below is improper — not indented as it should be. If you’d like to see it in its hierarchical glory, click on the hyperlink above.
    ————————————————–
    Dissertation: Strategic curricular approaches to social change interventions

    I. Introduction
    A. Hook: Allegorical anecdote
    B. Thesis: Social change interventions, whether explicitly educational or otherwise, should employ strategies that are versatile/adaptable and address the whole person; such strategies include: creating a culture of participatory learning, and adopting means and ends oriented towards primary skills development.
    C. Overview of paper

    II. Review of lit/theoretical background
    A. Participation and play
    1. Participation
    2. Play
    B. Primary skill set
    1. Asset appreciation (AA)
    2. Social and emotional learning (SEL)
    3. New media literacies (NML)
    4. Narrative
    C. Domestic education interventions
    1. Current challenges
    i. lack of funding
    ii. test scores: low and invalid
    iii. health/safety challenges
    iv. cultural shifts
    2. Prevailing perspectives
    i. it’s lazy teachers’ fault
    ii. it’s non-standardized curriculum’s fault
    iii. it’s marginalized students’ fault
    iv. it’s lack of technology’s fault
    3. Programs/solutions
    i. Status quo or even regressive: NCLB
    ii. Status quo or ancillary or inadequate: Charter & pilot schools
    iii. Innovative: Foundation initiatives (e.g., MacArthur’s YouMedia); Independent entities (e.g., Globaloria); University partnerships (e.g., USC’s Hybrid High or Pathfinder)
    D. International social change interventions
    1. Current challenges
    i. lack of funding
    ii. volatility: things keep changing
    iii. complexity: things are intertwined
    iv. idiosyncrasies: things are particular to context
    2. Prevailing perspectives
    i. top-down
    ii. bottom-up
    3. Programs/solutions
    i. Status quo or even regressive: Externally produced, highly structured, “add water and stir” programs
    ii. Status quo or ancillary or inadequate: Programs that allow for token or modest modification by recipients
    iii. Innovative: Positive deviance; Participatory/community-oriented development

    III. Argument
    A. Definitions
    1. Participatory learning
    i. culture/norms of context: describes basic community functioning, the ways that we treat one another, the rights and responsibilities that community members have in that space — to receive feedback, access roles, pursue passions, etc;
    ii. activities of learner: describes the ways that the learner engages with the curriculum — avidly, with perseverance, enriching participation/performance with dialogue
    iii. theoretical origins: participatory culture; digital media & learning; educational theory
    2. Primary skills
    i. mode/means: use a skill-oriented activity as vehicle for exploring content; for example, learn photography through social awareness and appropriation
    ii. objective/ends: proficiency in these skills is a goal of the program (whether this is the sole or priority goal can vary; arguably, richer and more efficient if it is not the sole goal)
    iii. theoretical origins: arts integration; positive deviance; asset-based community development; appreciative inquiry; human development/resilience
    B. The Case for Participatory Learning
    1. we live in a dynamic world of constant change
    2. learning how to learn, and making that experience community-supported and interest/passion-driven, is infinitely valuable
    C. The Case for Primary Skills
    1. owning modifiable knowledge-skills-practices efficiently prepares us for diverse contexts (regardless of whether these contexts are volatile)
    2. treating the whole person is most effective
    3. AA, SEL, NML, Narrative = fundamental (Community, culture, work, meaning)

    III. Methods
    A. Summer Sandbox
    1. Participants
    2. Materials
    3. Design
    4. Procedure
    B. Sunukaddu
    1. Participants
    2. Materials
    3. Design
    4. Procedure
    C. Explore Locally, Excel Digitally
    1. Participants
    2. Materials
    3. Design
    4. Procedure
    D. Playing Outside the Box
    1. Participants
    2. Materials
    3. Design
    4. Procedure

    IV. Results
    A. Participatory Learning Case Study: Summer Sandbox
    1. Program description
    2. Participants’ gains
    B. Skills-based Case Study: Sunukaddu
    1. Program description
    2. Participants’ gains
    C. Hybrid: Explore Locally, Excel Digitally
    1. Program description
    2. Participants’ gains
    D. Hybrid: Playing Outside the Box (encompassing Play On Workshops)
    1. Program description
    2. Participants’ gains

    V. Discussion
    A. Gains in context
    1. Program challenges
    2. Comparisons to other programs
    3. Small sample size
    4. Critique of assessment tools
    C. Context: Informal vs. formal learning environments, Educational interventions vs. other social change endeavors
    D. Audience: Practicing teachers vs. preservice teachers vs. administrators vs. parents vs. students
    E. Culture: Outsider consultants, preaching to the choir?

    VI. Conclusion
    A. Review
    B. Other potential areas of research

    Comfort

    Tokens from the children occupy the space alongside my medicines, with a soothing phone call from Mom and supportive conversation with Emily perfuming the air.

    I’m struck by the nature of each item in this first-aid kit for the soul, its relationship with time and place:

    Domestic Foreign Global
    Contemporary Ondem, Flox-OZ, Crocin | Hand-written card, Band-Aid, home-cooked meal | Texts, chats Airshield, Aleve, Centrum | Emails, FB posts Azithromycin, Loratadine, Malarone | Disney’s Princess and the Frog merchandise
    Dated House call | Rickety toaster Phone call (many hours after today’s events, still hours earlier back home) Dettol soap carving of hieroglyph | Kellogg’s Corn Flakes
    Timeless Illness | Love Illness | Love Illness | Love

    Basically, people are people and it’s all about feeling our best, inside and out. But such a confluence of supplies as I’ve itemized above is singular, I think, to this multinational moment…

    Some people worry about the displacing potential of technology — geeking out on the Internet may remove us from face-to-face interactions, plugging into personal experiences in public spaces* may degrade our ambient awareness. I wonder, though, about the simultaneous potential of these domestic, foreign, global, contemporary, dated, and timeless collisions to deliver the best of what humanity has to offer. Choose your time, choose your place! Benefit from the offerings of our diverse/homogeneous peers!

    As I consume comfort from every possible portal, I feel part of a complex, caring community. And this makes me one lucky lady indeed… despite the rash I just discovered.
    Continue reading

    Awakenings

    Sleep and time and conversation… Those are my healers, the restorative balms for my battle-weary soul, the shapers of my amorphous muddle. I’m awake again. After an insomniac week, a coupla night–>noon sleep binges, several rich talks with beloved buddies*, I’m awake. I’m awake.

    I’ve been staying in my old apartment, in my old room, for the past four days (who says you can’t go home again?) and just realized that the internet network password, which I had staunchly insisted was invalid!, had, indeed, been valid, quite valid, valid the whole time, just case-sensitive. Can you believe I never tried it with an uppercase initial letter? That’s a no-brainer. But never did. Never tried. Assumed my intel was faulty or my computer impaired. (To be technical, the intel was a smidgen faulty since it hadn’t been texted to me in its case-sensitive glory, nor scrawled on the refrigerator whiteboard as such, but still… And my computer sometimes does hate a local network, but still… Still.) Aren’t you just boonswoggled by the metaphorical weight of this? Assumed the worst. Ignored innovation. Smugly suffered. Doesn’t that sound like most Greek tragedies, and everybody’s foreign policy?

    Now, “the glass is half-full” rejoinder would be: But I’ve woken up! I’m out-of-the-box-thinking, humility-remembering, lesson-learning-for-next-timing! And I’ve got another day and a half to enjoy super smooth Internet stylings!

    True. Good. Excessively beating your breast is just as self-absorbed as assuming everyone else is wrong but you. (Not that self-indulgence is so alien around these parts. I offer the name of my domain as Exhibit A, the fact of this blog’s existence as Exhibit B…) Hopefully, in my re-engagement with the world around me, I operate a bit wiser, negotiate a trifle better, enriched for having gone on this journey. I think such a thing possible. I might sense a little more perspective… We’re all just people trying our best. Just people. Love us before it’s too late. (That’s the truth Mom and I independently discovered and exchanged two days ago. “Make sure to enjoy your life” is the nugget my dad shared tonight.)

    I recently welcomed a friend to the prologue of the next chapter. But it wasn’t just his** and mine — it’s mine and mine. Mine and all of ours. This is a post-quals world, right? Post-May. Pre-summer. Pleine d’opportunite, as they’d say in French. Six em!, as we’d cry to the Pop-o-Matic bubble…

    Onward.

    *from a distance: Mom, Jim, Rebecca, and Mark; in the flesh: Geetha, Jinah, Jenn
    **he, who is just a person, a person trying his best, like the rest of us